『次郎長三国志』イヤァー苦労しました!努力しました!

撮影期間ビッチリ47日間!俳優のスケジュールが1日たりトモ余裕ガない中!
二日モ、雨ガ降ってロケ中止トなるも!奇跡的ニ代替ロケ地ヲ見付け出し!
他日に撮影ヲ組み込み、何とかクリアー!
セットは天気ニ左右されない分、深夜迄働いた!
ロケは日没ガ17時!
撮影可能時刻ノ16時半迄、毎日ギリギリの勝負が続く!
立ち回りのシーンで、
日没寸前!ヤットノ思いデ、最後のカットを撮り終えた。ソノ時!現場ニかつら ガ1個転がってイタ!
誰カガ落としたニ違いない!『NG!NG!撮り直しだ・』すぐ様下手人ヲ見付け出し、かつらヲ付けさせ、必死デ撮影ハ間ニ合ったガ、端で見てタラ、サゾ間ノ抜けた喜劇ダッタロウナァ!

written by : 津川雅彦 : 2008年1月28日 00:54
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コメント(1075)

 久しぶりにコメントします!
想像するのが大好きな私にとっては、クスクス笑ってしまいましたが(笑)
 お疲れ様でした☆

 私事ですが、今月、娘の1歳の誕生日で、グランパパの「押し車」を、娘にパパとママからプレゼントしました☆
 
 押し車を押して歩いたり、積み木で遊んだりと、毎朝、遊んでいます♪

 
 

 

毎度ありー!

津川さん、映画『次郎長…』お疲れさまでした☆『旭山動物園』の園長も頑張ってくださいね。
先日、グランパパ姫路店にてBIGハローちゃんとグランパパオリジナルのハートキリンちゃんを予約してきました。
30日にお迎えに行く予定です。

うわ~!!!
グランパパサンタから、コメントや~!!!
感激ーーーーー!!!!!!

TO-NAO-NAO
30日お待ちしてまーす!

遅ればせながら、「次郎長三国志」完成おめでとうございます。6日に、試写会だそうですね。今、津川オーナーの心の中は、嫁入りさせる父の心境なのかな。映画は、スクリーンが式場で観客がお婿さんなのかしら?でも、最初の「寝ずの番」があるし。今回は、津川オーナーとしては、婿養子を迎える花嫁の父なのかしら?さてどちらかな?

 待ってました!!っていう感じですね。時代劇ファンにとってはたまらないでしょう。今まで次郎長を演じた人に負けず劣らずの俳優陣、また、古今東西次郎長を演じるとしたらこの人しかいないでしょうか 清潔感、凛々しさ。早く観たいです。胸がわくわくしますね今まで次郎長を演じた人たちと見比べてみたいです。次郎長二十八人衆もね。マキノ雅弘というのもいいじゃないですか懐かしい名前です。

aylhndfjrnngoukdcyqo, amsiklkkqf

aylhndfjrnngoukdcyqo, amsiklkkqf

aylhndfjrnngoukdcyqo, amsiklkkqf

aylhndfjrnngoukdcyqo, amsiklkkqf

aylhndfjrnngoukdcyqo, amsiklkkqf

As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air — however slight — lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.

Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.

Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.

TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.

Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.

Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.

The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.

Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love .

An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.

There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.

Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.

I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.

I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.

There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.

There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

Don't sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.

Don't sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.

When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?

To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that's ok because you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.

To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that's ok because you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.

In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.

Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.

I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.

I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.

That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.

Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.

Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.

Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.

Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.

If you can read this you're not aiming in the right direction.

Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.

If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?

When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.

The covers of this book are too far apart.

Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.

If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.

If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.

Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.

Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.

If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.

He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.

He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.

There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.

I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.

If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.

Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet.

I've never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I've seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.

Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up.

Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up.

Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.

There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.

There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.

Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.

Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.

The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad.

The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad.

A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, 'Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' I said 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too'.

I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.

I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.

DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.

There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.

One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.

One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.

I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.

Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.

Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.

Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.

Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.

One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.

The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.

Biologically speaking, if something bites you it's more likely to be female.

Biologically speaking, if something bites you it's more likely to be female.

Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.

A man's only as old as the woman he feels.

It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.

Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?

Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.

Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it.

Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.

Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.

Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.

One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.

One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.

Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.

Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.

People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.

Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.

You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.

The truth is more important than the facts.

The truth is more important than the facts.

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.

The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.

Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.

Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.

The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.

The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.

It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.

It's the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.

Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.

Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.

The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.

If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.

If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.

If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.

Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet.

One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.

One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.

Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.

I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it.

I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it.

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.

The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.

Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.

The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.

The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.

If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.

Raymond's Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.

The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.

Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.

It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it.

... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.

... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.

Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.

An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.

A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.

A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.

When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.

When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.

Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.

Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.

Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.

The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.

The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.

Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.

Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.

When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.

Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.

A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'

A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'

If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.

If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.

The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.

I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.

Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?

Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?

Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?

The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.

The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.

They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.

The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.

Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love .

Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love .

I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.

He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.

I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.

It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher.

In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.

Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.

When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.

Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.

If quantum physics doesn't confuse you then you don't understand it.

We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer.

... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.

Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.

Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.

Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.

The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.

We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.

Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.

Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.

Total absence of humor renders life impossible.

C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog

C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog

Am I lightheaded because I'm not dead or because I'm still alive?

I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia.

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.

A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.

A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.

Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.

ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI !

Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.

Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.

My last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore.

Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent's eye, that charms to destroy...

A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.

I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.

I don't approve of political jokes... I've seen too many of them get elected.

Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.

My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.

My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.

Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.

The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.

We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.

Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.

Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.

He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.

Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.

We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?

The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.

The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side

The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.

C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language

Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.

Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.

My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.

My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.

A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.

A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.

Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.

Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.

It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.

It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.

I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic.

All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.

Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?

Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?

We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.

As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air however slight lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.

As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air however slight lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.

Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.

If it wasn't for C, we'd be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.

If it wasn't for C, we'd be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.

Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.

Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.

It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.

Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.

To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him

Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.

'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible', she said, 'but that alone doesn't make it true.'

Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.

I am not young enough to know everything.

A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.

Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.

Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.

I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

The best way to predict the future is to invent it.

A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.

If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?

Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.

Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?

Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?

Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.

Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.

Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?

Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.

Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.

Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.

There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?

There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.

Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.

Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.

I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.

To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him

I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.

I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad.

The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad.

Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.

I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.

If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.

O'Toole's Corollary of Finagle's Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.

Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.

Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.

Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.

... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.

The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.

I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.

It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.

It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.

I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.

Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.

Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn't mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.

If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.

If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.

A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)

Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?

We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.

We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.

There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?

There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.

Am I lightheaded because I'm not dead or because I'm still alive?

In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.

Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.

You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.

I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.

No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.

Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.

Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.

The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.

Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn't over until everyone gets their cookies.

Gigerenzer's Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.

Gigerenzer's Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.

Barabási's Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do — whether it is correct or not.

TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.

TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.

A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.

Everything that can be invented has been invented.

It is better to be quotable than to be honest.

Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.

There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.

There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.

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A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.

Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.

Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.

UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.

I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.

We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.

I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.

Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.

The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.

The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.

I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.

Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.

I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.

Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.

Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.

Anyone who starts a sentence, 'With all due respect ...' is about to insult you.

Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.

Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.

Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.

Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.

I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.

The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.

Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.

Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.

Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent's eye, that charms to destroy...

Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.

The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.

Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.

A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.

Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...

The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it

Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it

Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it

All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.

I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?

Don't drive me crazy -- it's within walking distance.

There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.

If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.

When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?

You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.

The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.

He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.

As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air — however slight — lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.

Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.

Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.

I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.

Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.

A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.

Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.

Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.

Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.

We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.

The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.

Total absence of humor renders life impossible.

As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air — however slight — lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.

My last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore.

A poem is never finished, only abandoned.

A poem is never finished, only abandoned.

What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position.

What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position.

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Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.

Silence is argument carried out by other means.

Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'

Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.

Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.

We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.

No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.

No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.

God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.

They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.

They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.

Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.

If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?

Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.

Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.

I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.

The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.

There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.

You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.

There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.

A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.

A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.

What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position.

A camel is a horse designed by a committee

Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.

The graveyards are full of indispensable men.

The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.

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I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia.

Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.

I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.

Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.

Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.

Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.

Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.

A man's only as old as the woman he feels.

All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.

Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.

Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.

The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.

The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.

Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.

Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.

Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!

Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.

Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.

Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.

Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent's eye, that charms to destroy...

God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.

The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...

I'd stop eating chocolate, but I'm no quitter.

A camel is a horse designed by a committee

Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency.

Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.

Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.

All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.

A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.

I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?

Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time

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名前:津川雅彦
生年月日:1940年1月2日
出身地:京都市



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